Figleaf
I don’t want to die but my mind’s open
as if I have a choice, maybe I do
but for now, or do I mean later, I
only get to live forever after
I die, forever in the afterlife
I mean, Heaven or Hell, that’s where I’ll be
-long, one or the other I mean and yet
there’s eternity to both, more, I’m told,
at church and Sunday School here on Earth, no
one lives forever here, not even rocks
and dirt and they’re not even alive is
how serious Creation is so what
to do but pray and sing and praise and do
so once a week at least and that’s Sunday
School and church and my classmates and Preacher
and Miss Hooker, she’s our teacher, ask her
if she’ll go to Heaven when she kicks though
say die instead of kick and she says Hell
yes though she doesn’t say Hell, you see it
on her face you might say, maybe it’s more
like Heck yes or Heavens yes – Yes indeed
she’ll come out with once in a while or her
words will, out of her mouth that is, one day
I’ll be dead and meet her in Heaven if
I don’t land in Hell instead, Miss Hooker
will go to Heaven for sure but I guess
anything’s possible, she might wind up
in Hell, too, don’t tell her I said so though
she’d be the first to say with modesty
that she’s a sinner but anyway I
almost hope she does because my chance for
Heaven’s pretty slim, for ten years old I
sin a good bit or is it a bad bit
so I’ll have no chance to see her again
unless it’s in the Bad Place and even
Jesus spent some time down there Himself but
anyway I don’t give a fig where I
go as long as I can romance her, she’s
25 here on Earth but when we’re dead
I guess we’ll be the same age, I’d ask her
but she might get wise to me if she’s not
already, wiser to me than I am.
Grounded
I may be only ten years old but it
won’t be long before I die, years being
second, even less, to God Almighty
but a mighty long time to me unless
I think like He does and reality
goes by pretty damn fast and of course I
might die tomorrow or even sooner
and then where will I be but in Heaven
or Hell they tell me at church and Sunday
School and I guess I agree if that’s all
the knowledge about God they can give me,
I wish I had more but I’ll live with it
like I’ve done so far and everyone else
has, too, not just folks alive like I am
now but all of those in the past, the past
goes pretty far back, way back before me
and sometimes I wish I could go there but
come back to my time now whenever I
want but one thing’s for certain, make that two,
I’m going to die one day and if I
have to live forever like I hope now
I’ve got to die to do it, that’s what they
teach in Sunday School, how they know I don’t
know but they act as if they do and I
don’t want to cause them any problems, they
have problems enough just figuring God
and Jesus and the Holy Ghost and all
that religious stuff and after Sunday
School this morning I asked my teacher how
she and Preacher and the Deacons know that
what they talk about at church is so and
she answered Well, Gale, no one’s ever asked
me that before and she sat down even
though she already was, try to picture
that, it’s got religiousness to it, too,
no ten-year-old I mean, she continued,
though once in a while or maybe more we
grownups talk about such affairs but you
needn’t concern yourself with these matters
now, which is just what I’d expect God to
stammer at me so no wonder I fell
in love with my teacher, I worship her
you might say though not the ground she walks on,
that would be me and that would be a sin.
Blow
Death doesn’t scare me, life does, or living
it, I don’t want to but then I won’t
have to get up early for regular
school nor on Sundays for church and Sunday
School nor visit the doctor or even
worse, the dentist, or own a dog or cat
and worry about forgetting to feed
one or the other, or Hell, sometimes both,
or failing my driver’s test or any
test for that matter or eating too much
or catching the flu or a virus and
striking out in softball or asking out
a girl for the first time or even middle
or final time and getting a job or
paying taxes or getting caught smoking
or swiping butts from my folks’ top dresser
drawer or getting beat up or voting
for the wrong guy, it’s kind of the same thing,
or gal, or running myself and losing
or growing infirm and falling and frac
-turing my hip or buying ice milk in
-stead of ice cream accidentally or
going to war but I was drafted or
kissing Grandmother and smelling her cold
cream and shaking Grandfather’s hand but his
teeth fall out or sharing my handkerchief
when someone sneezes, then tries to give it
back and I don’t know what to say and if
that someone was Jesus what would I do,
take it, tell Him to keep it, or take it to
sell and try to get folks to believe that
He sneezed into it? Oh, you must believe
I’d tell ’em, my college education’s
riding on it. It’s really Father’s, though.
Faith
When you’re dead you still have a future says
my Sunday School teacher, Eternity
is what it’s called, so I raised my hand in
class and asked her how that could be, how you
can die and still live on and she answered
If you have enough faith, Dear, you can know
nearly everything so I just said Oh
and then Yes ma’am and then it was time to
leave for another week so I’m damned if
she didn’t call on me to lead us all
in the Lord’s Prayer, which I did, if I
know anything it’s that, that and the “Pledge
of Allegiance” and–funny–all the words
to “Wild Thing.” Don’t they make a joyful noise?